Got the big news today! Everything came back just how they wanted it.. NEGATIVE .. It has to be one of the best feelings in the world! So many emotions I just simply can’t explain. There have been many days I’ve asked why me, why was I chosen to go through this crazy battle… God is constantly reminding me why, and it’s because he knew I would be damn good at it. He made me everything that I am today, a fighter and a survivor. A believer and never a quitter. Today is another day to celebrate in my book!
My journey continues. I have my good days and bad, but mostly good which I’m so thankful for. I’m slowly gaining my strength back and it’s a pretty amazing experience. Everyday I notice something getting easier for me and I just think “Ahh, I’m one step closer to being me again!”. I got this super cute medicine ball and itty bitty weights… yes, it’s a HUGE workout for me. One day at a time! Oh and this week it’s finally going to feel like “fall” outside, so walking the neighborhood will definitely be a thing. Wahoo!
My days are still pretty boring since I’m still restricted to a lot… so my new hobby is Pinteresting recipes… to cook… Y’all, cooking is so hard but I’m learning! (If the prep time says 30 min, it’s going to take me an hour and a half. Ugh) Oh well, it’s fun and I’ve enjoyed it.
That’s all for now! Oh, and Happy Halloween.
This weekend was beyond perfect. I’m so blessed with the most amazing family. They love me, encourage me, pray for me, and are my number one fans. This weekend was about celebrating life, and how amazing it is.
Yesterday, I got to snuggle with my favorite little boy while watching some football.. and of course my fur babies had to have a turn also. (Lexi is just about attached at my hip since I’ve been home and I love every thing about it. My “little” lap dog).
The weather was absolutely perfect.. can I get a wahoo for fall?! Perfect weather for my baldness, not to cold not to hot so yes we spent the evening on the patio. My favorite!
Last but not least.. S’MORES! S’mores around the fire with fun stories and a bunch of laughs. I also figured out my girl scout days are a little rusty… not so great at the s’mores thing but it’s not always about looks! Still tasted 100%.
Today, I celebrated a whole month since my transplant. How crazy is that! God has been so amazing to me and I’m so grateful all he has done and continues to do for me. I’m thankful for everyone who has been apart of my journey and all my prayer warriors out there. Y’all are amazing and I look forward to keeping y’all updated.
Tomorrow is my big day! I go in for fluids and magnesium at 9:30 and then to see my doctor. 2 is go time! (Whoever schedules surgeries at 2 obviously came from space because no food or water until after is just not OK. This girl is about to be…… grumpy). Oh well. I’m ready!
“I can do all things through Chris who gives me strength” -Philippians 4:13
Monday is a big day for me.. My first bone marrow biopsy after transplant! As you can imagine I have so many mixed emotions about this.. This will tell how much of my moms cells have engrafted in me and how much cancer is left. Ahhh! Kinda a big deal..
Im not good with this kind of stuff.. The biopsy is at 2 and results probably won’t come back for about 2 weeks… From the second I wake up until the second the doctor calls with results I’m going to be making myself crazy. Ugh
God has all of this in control, and whatever the outcome is I know is part of his plan. Monday, I pray he fills my heart with bravery and trust. All will go well.
Until then, heres to a weekend full of fun with the fam!
During my last hospital stay I had a special friend who stayed a few doors down from me. We had a few things in common such as a bald head, a love for the color pink, and a fight that we weren’t going to give up on.. One thing that made us different was that she was only 3. This stay she was going on over 100 days..And it wasn’t the first time. A 3 year old stuck in a hospital for over 100 days. Can you even imagine?
Ellie and I loved to walk to halls together. What was so special was that no matter what she would always have a smile on her face.. This girl had gone through more than most people will ever go through and she still found something to smile about. That is what life is all about. Always keep smiling, even when things don’t seem to be going your way.
Getting to know Ellie was such a blessing. She was released 4 days before me, and I was just as excited for her as I was on my release date. She inspired me and encouraged me everyday to just keep smiling.
Childhood cancer is something that affects way to many kids and families daily. In honor of Ellie and her family, this hat is worn because of y’all. Love your Melon is an organization that donates 50% of proceeds to childhood cancer research and has donated over 75,000 to kids battling cancer. There will be a cure one day!
Man it has been so good to be home. I’ve enjoyed every second of it all. It also has given me a lot time to spend reflecting on this past month, well these past few months a matter of fact. Truthfully, I can’t believe where I am today.. God has given me the most amazing strength, hope, and faith to get me where I am and I believe he will continue to. I am able to say “I survived”. That is not something that comes easy.
Y’all, It has been such a tough ride, and no not all health related but somehow every night I always go to bed feeling stronger than the day before. And that is more than I could ever ask for. Keeping one foot in front of the other reminding myself this isn’t permeant, Gods has an amazing plan for me ahead.
Since I’ve been home free i’ve had to go in for fluids and magnesium quite often, but it makes me feel 100% after so there is no complaining there. When I’m home, I truly don’t even know what to do with myself. I don’t have enough energy/strength to really do what I want and it kind of drives me a little insane. So yesterday I decided to go on a drive to feel free again. I had my music on and was going at it, like this transplant gave me moves and a voice.. (I don’t think I was that lucky though) It was the best. Then I told my mom….. Don’t worry, dad always saves the day and calms her worried little heart. I didn’t get my keys taken away so it was a good day.
Today, I’m going to start working on gaining my strength back. I talked with a transplant survivor and she gave me some tips on how to get my strength back. It has to be the most frustrating thing for me having these noodle legs that are basically none existent. This should be interesting, but I’m more than ready!
This is a big weekend for me coming up. My whole family will be here in one house celebrating life together and how amazing we all are. Every single one of us has made this journey, the journey that it is and it wouldn’t of been this amazing without every single one of them. I am more than excited and its been to long!
*sorry about my creepy red eye. It is still healing from all the throwing up in the hospital*
So I’m here writing this post… in my big comfy bed.. AT HOME! Yes, I got released yesterday and it basically was the best day of my life. Yes, I got to love on my pups.. (they can’t get enough of me, it makes my heart so happy).
Yesterday, I began my new life like a little baby.. literally a new born baby has more of an immune system than I do right now.. fun fact? Except not so fun. My body is so weak I’m about to have Louie trained to let me ride him around.. Sitting up, walking, getting dressed are all just normal day things that I now struggle with… it’s really hard for me to accept, but I try to remind myself… this isn’t permanent, everyday work to get stronger. That’s kind of where I’m at, just really weak and exhausted… oh and if sassy fits in that category then I’ll leave that there…(idk what has gotten into me but, I’m gunna say I got it from my momma because now that’s always a valid excuse).
So last night my mom and I sat down with my 1029847 pills I now have to take to get the week set up. Y’all I’m officially an old grandma. I have one of those fancy pill things with every compartment filled to the top with pills I have to take like 5 times a day. It only took about an hour… an hour… honestly I would hire someone to do it for me weekly, it made me want to lose my mind. I guess that was one good thing about being in the hospital? They did all this for you.
Today, I had a doctor appointment. I couldn’t really say how it went. I was miserably tired going in. They call me back to get my vitals.. Of course they can’t get a read on my blood pressure. 8 times y’all. 8 times they tried to squeezed my arm off still nothing. They finally came in to do it manually and freaked out because my heart rate was 160. (Hmm I wonder why.. I only just lost all my circulation in my arm 8 times. Gosh). So they send me in for an EKG. It came back fine, I could of told them that it was going to but I keep quiet. Anyways after all that was settled, I had to receive some fluids. That was my cure today. After I was done, I felt so much better. Fever, heart rate, BP all normalized. I will be going back tomorrow to receive more.
With all that being said, my doctor is happy with everything. Everything right now is all part of the norm. I will have good days and bad and a really long road ahead. Just to try and make every day better is my goal.
Thank you everyone for all the prayers.. they are constantly being answered. It is the best gift to me. God is so good
I know I have sucked so much with keeping y’all posted but to be honest I didn’t expect such a tough time. Basically the day after transplant s**t hit the fan and has been crazy ever since. I had it all. High fevers (103.0 +), bone pain, nausea, vomiting, anything and everything you name it. This lasted for over a week.
I was taking Ambien every night not to make things more interesting just to simply get some sleep. But no, it made things way to interesting. So along with all those those other things that were going on, I got something called C diff… In the middle of the night.. While on Ambien.. Basically explosive …Yeah.. in my bed. Which apparently is super normal but there is not one thing about the situation I felt was normal. It happened, I got up to run to get to the bathroom obviously way to late and just stood there confused on what just happened, where I was, and why the heck it just happened. My mom got the nurses, they explained everything and got everything cleaned up… I showered and before I got changed. This is the best part. They brought me a old person DIAPER. If y’all don’t know, Ambien sometime makes you see things.. I thought for sure I was seeing things. No they wanted me to wear this giant human diaper because this wasn’t going to be the only time it happened. Like how do you even begin to put on your own diaper.. ? Never would I ever think I would be put in that position and I pray no one else has to experience it.. ever.I was put on isolation, so now every time someone comes in my room they have to dress up for me.. I know how special. JK its actually really annoying because the gowns they have to wear are so loud and obnoxious. Good news I am finally c diff negative! So no more of that whoop whoop!
Things began to get a little better. I was able to take more laps around the floor and my appetite started coming back. I was gaining more energy and everything so they decided to take me off my IV antibiotics to see how I would do. Unfortunately , the vomiting and fevers came back so back on everything I went. This was hard for me to understand, I felt like I was at the light at the end of the tunnel and it just turned black again. God always has just the right timing though. The next day, ( after getting about 13 days of shots in my stomach) my ANC had gone up from .2 to 1.5. At 1.5 is when the doctor begins to plan when your going home, because engraftment is happening! So no more shots and a plan to get me home!
Today, they my ANC is up to 5! So they took me back off iv antibiotics and if all things go well, no fever or complications I will be going home this week! YESSS!!! I said it. I possibly will get to go home this week.Y’all have no idea how exciting this is for me. 28 days is way to long in a hospital room.
Sorry again I have sucked so much at keeping y’all posted. I defiantly will the next few days when I find out the next move to this crazy journey of mine!