Beauty comes from the inside

How am I feeling? I know everyone is dying to know because its been so long.. I would probably tell you I’m feeling good. If my doctor asked it would be a whole different story..

This past month, I’m going to be honest, I have struggled a lot and it has been something I haven’t been sure I wanted to share with everyone but here I am.  As a 22 year old girl, my physically image is naturally important to me.  After receiving my transplant and with all the medicines (steroids) I’m on my body has completely changed and accepting it has been something I’m working my best at. My skin is extremely thin and sensitive to where wearing certain clothes just hurts.. The GVHD has caused an awful rash that covers my body shoulders to toes that itches like crazy and looks just… so ugly. My face is as round/big as a watermelon and feels like its about to bust. My stomach looks like a pregnant women halfway through her pregnancy and has caused stretch marks that feel like they are bleeding half the time because they are constantly getting worse.  When I wake up I dread having to go brush my teeth because I don’t want to have to look in the mirror to see what has gotten worse.  That is the truth… Then I try to remind myself this is all apart of the beautiful journey God is putting me through and how much worse it could be. It is temporary and all of these scars will only help show my strength.  True beauty comes from the inside and all this crap I am complaining about shouldn’t matter.  Its definatly easier said then done, but I am working on accepting it all!

Well that is really how I’m feeling, but there is so much more.. My virus is gone, wahoo! Im still on medication for it but not for much longer. The steroids (from hell that make me a massive watermelon) I hope to be off of soon also… I have graduated to going to the doctor now only once a week which is super exciting for me. Im still having to get fluids and magnesium each time but hopefully not for much longer. I feel myself getting stronger everyday which is such a blessing. My energy level changes day by day just because my body is trying to adjust to medication changes so often but I’m able to do so much more just in general. Its truly amazing how far I’ve come but will be more amazing to see how far I will get!

Thats all I have for Doctor updates! Now for the good stuff.

Thanksgiving was perfect! It was amazing to be able to spend it home with the family. While my sister was in town we went to Painting with a Twist and had a ton of fun/all got frustrated with things not being “perfect” lol.  Oh and we made it out without my mom having the artist doing the whole thing for her!

Here I am almost 3 months post transplant sitting with not a hair on my head… just a few what I call “little nubs”.. eyebrows halfway there but still ratchet.. eyelashes just suck always, not gunna talk about that and it’s December! As y’all know, I’ve hated anything on my head since the day I lost my hair… Hot and annoying and just not my thing. Yeah , well I went into Costco the other day and I think I changed my mind. They have this refrigerated section for produce and holy moly…… Any hair I had left on my body froze off in there and my poor head was probably purple along with my nose and ears! So yeah, I figure it’s time to figure this cold weather and bald thing out…. scarves. hats. wigs. (Just NONE of those cancer hat things.ever.)

Shopping has been my hobby.. and my exercise for the day! Also my place for tragic events like face planting in the parking lot to happen.. Heres the story. Im walking out of Old Navy, wallet in one hand  and shopping bags in the other. The parking lot is super busy because of the holidays so I’m waiting to cross. A lady slows down so I start crossing the street and literally trip over nothing and faceplate smack dab in the middle of the busy street. I can’t catch myself because my hands are full so I’m just laying in the middle of the street. The lady speeds up and parks to ask if I’m okay but I can’t respond because I had the wind nocked out of me.  All I could think about was how the hell I was going to get up and what the hell had just happened.  After about 5 seconds of just laying there I was up and made it to my car. Just a few holes in the clothes and scrapes, but the funniest memory after the fact!

This past weekend I was able to sneak down to Houston for a night to surprise my sister for  her engagement! No, my doctor doesn’t know but I made it there and back in one peice and thats all that matters.  It was such an exciting night for everyone. I now am going to have two of the best brother-in-laws anyone could ask for and most importantly two of the happiest sisters! So excited to start planning.

Now its time to thank everyone for all of the love and support you give me every single day. Over $500 was raised by everyone who bought bracelets or donated money to help my family through this time. Im so blessed to be so loved and prayed for, I wish there were words that could express how thankful I am for each and  everyone of yall!

-XO Kara


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